The biggest thing about marriage is not that it is hard to find, its that it is doubly hard to maintain, properly,without hating eachother beyond the point of oblivion.
I mean, all the time you spend on yourself and on prayers, that Allah taala bless you with a great husband who has all the decent qualities that you just cannot do without, that is without a doubt, the easier part. I’m living that part right now. With a comfy bed and propped up pillows, lying down with not a care in the world Alhumdulillah, my healthy, wonderful parents sleeping in the next room Alhumdulillah, my sisters sleeping next to me,having eaten a wonderful dinner of biryani, and good post dinner talk..Alhumdulillah. this is the life. A good life. Carefree. Because I know I’m not perfect or responsible enough to be great as a duo.
I remember researching my phobia of marriage and talking to niloudi about it. I remember how she told me I should alleivate my parents worry and pray to be happily married. I remember saying I understand and I will inshaAllah.
I will, inshaAllah. But I accept this stage is carefree and worry free,and I will be forever grateful to Allah taala for blessing me with this peace. Alhumdulillah.
The thing about marriage that makes it scary now is the uncertainty. Not sure how the person will be, not sure how you will be, not sure about the inlaws, not sure about the mentalities. But one thing that’s a constant is the certainty of Allah taala and His decisions being the best.
If I can say that niloudi’s pain of 9 years and more was for the best, then I have to simply, simply believe. InshaAllah.
There is a person X. This person X waited a long time to be married according to her. She prayed with precision, worked out with gusto, and worked on herself to the limit of sharpening the coal off to reveal the diamond, outwardly. Inside whatever she was,she was. She never changed on the inside, not to her family anyways.
Well this X got married to a wondeful, extremely skilled Y. Y was good at almost everything he did, surely especially the decision he made in marrying Y?
A couple of kids later, they have a huge fight where X says she will leave Y and take her kids with her.
So the story isn’t really abt X and Y. Its about anger. To be that angry inside that you say whatever it is you want to say just to hurt the person in front of you…. that is bad.
Its not hust bad, its pathetic.
Spending so much energy in getting the right guy and then screwing it up with your own two hands..somehow doesn’t add up. Mom said it can be nazar. Alright, if that’s the case, plz remember mammas nazr antidotes – khul ke surahs, surah khalam ke last three lines. N I think to shoo away shaytan, its the last verses of surah baqarah.
If it isn’t shaytan or nazar- I think controlling ur rage as much as possible is important.
Just to avoid a major drama. Which will never be forgotten either ways. Remember that.
Avoidng confrontation is the best thing. Fighting on paper myt be a good idea. No screaming matches is hella important. I hope I remember to read this blog is too.